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54/312: no blogging

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Job applications tonight; not blogging. Maybe God will give me a job like a real person soon! Be blessed so much! :)

53/313: not blogging

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I’m not blogging tonight so I can work on job applications and to have time for Bible Study and more prayer. Be blessed!

52/314: No Bible where?

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Today I did not send Scripture to my friends. All I could think about was Haiti and that maybe I won’t get to go on this July mission trip because of an expired passport and that maybe some people live there without a Bible.

No Bible? How can they get up in the morning and not have God’s Word to feed them? How can they keep hope in times of trouble? How can they have comfort in grief? How can they have joy in knowing God as their own? How can they increase their faith and grow in the fruits of the Spirit? How can they know the name of the Savior, the Messiah, King Jesus, the name above all names?

Someone must go tell them.

And yet God still makes a way even in a place where in a deep jungle or remote village a Bible cannot be found. Because we have the Word we know how they know of God by this…

http://bible.com/111/psa.19.1.niv
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

So we know that they have heard these declarations. And what is more…

http://bible.com/111/psa.19.2-4.niv
Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world…

So we know the works of God’s hands pour forth speech continually. So nature is their Bible, right? Creation speaks of God’s existence. And it says they have no speech and no words and no sound yet their voice is heard, because God’s ways are beyond our comprehension. Right?

But here, I think, is how they know of His faithfulness…

http://bible.com/111/psa.19.4-6.niv
…. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other; nothing is deprived of its warmth.

Everyday, every single day, the sun comes up! They do not have the Bible, but they have what we all have: the same sun. Everyday the sun comes up to give them word of His unfailing love. Everyday the sun comes up to give them hope that His mercies are new every morning. "Nothing is deprived of its warmth." They are not deprived. Because God is faithful to all of His children.

http://bible.com/111/psa.19.7-11.niv
The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous.

They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Oh, the Word of God is so good for so many things for us! Just look at all that Psalm 19 lists, and we can think of even more that it teaches us elsewhere that it is for us! It is more precious to me than gold and sweeter to me than honey!! The Word, to me, IS a great Reward, because it is Jesus and FULLY ALIVE in that it is living and breathing!

If you have a house fire (which I just put out right away whenever my daughter, the "adult" cooks haha), it can get out of hand. Sometimes you have to grab only the most precious possessions and run for your life, right? What would you take?

I know without a doubt my family goes out the door first, but then also my Bible (and possibly I’d return quickly for a dozen or more prayer journals). I say this to relay how much it means to me! Take the flat screen, take the PS3, take the Honda, take the couch! I don’t care! I’m not taking them with me when I leave earth or even to the mission field! But words live on after we go. (Words are so important to me!) This is especially true of God’s Holy Word! It endures forever!

Yet surely some people in Haiti and the jungles of Papua New Guinea, (and other places) don’t have a Bible to save in a house fire. I’ve tried to comprehend today how different my life would be without my Bible app or my trusty NKJV…. I was sad most of the day. I was quiet and only answered those who directly asked me questions by call or text. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I cried for these people. Some of them don’t even have K-Love! (That’s a different blog post.)

I imagined today what it would be like if one of them found a Bible. See, I am the most selfish person I know, but even I would share it with my friends! Would they each take it home for a day? Or would they divide it and each take several pages? I would hope for Psalms or Genesis or Matthew and not Ezekiel or Leviticus… Haha I’m silly, but do you get my point!? Those poor people! What if they can’t read?! :'(

I want to go to them! So much! I want to teach them God’s Word. I want to bring them hope. I want them to know the most beautiful name! If they speak a language that no one knows, I want to learn it so I can write the Bible for them. I want to go to these tribes and tongues. I want to hold these faces and kiss their babies!

I don’t think I will get to go to Haiti however, because the trip is July 29th and passport renewal takes 6-8 weeks unless expedited. I checked the prices and even the expedited, and I just don’t know. I have zero dollars to make this happen. I’m still trying to pay my rent due tomorrow! And it would take $199.95 just to expedite and renew my passport in time. Then the Missions Pastor said a couple thousand for the trip itself. Maybe God isn’t sending me to Haiti. Or yet. Or maybe He will. I don’t know. I’m just burdened!!

But now I feel like texting Scripture to a hundred people just so that they can have the hope, the faith, the love, the joy, the fullness, the purity, the goodness, the knowledge, the wisdom, the understanding, and the glory of God that it brings! And so much more!

Oh Faithful Father, if my feet could run to Haiti with a thousand Bibles I would go right now!! I want to go. Send me, Lord. If You want me somewhere else, send me, I’ll go! China would be a blessing! Thailand! Tanzania! Pakistan! I don’t care where You send me! I fear nothing and no one and no animal bc the mosquitoes in the South are mightier than any lion! And I’m not afraid, because You are my Strong God! And You have set this in my heart always! I will trust You for my sending. I will not get ahead of You. I will rest. But hurry! Haha

Send workers for the harvest, Lord! Send workers for my own children, E & K, and all of these friends’ children whom I pray for daily & most by name: my Momma, Ms. PJ, sweetest Sherri, Shelley, Matthew, Manda, Jennifer, Amy &  Amy, Theresa,  Niecey, Dianne, Jordan’s youth group (& her someday-children), Tonja, Crissy, and Tracy. Oh, we want these babies in the Kingdom, Lord, serving You with abandon and living with a hunger for God that can’t be quenched! Send a fire of revival in our souls so that our children will see it and want greatly what we’ve got! All we’ve got is You, God, and that is soooooooo much! You are glorious! Your plans for our families are too wonderful for us to comprehend! Make our sons and daughters missionaries and pastors and music ministers and church leaders and reputable business leaders and sweet mommies and strong daddies and respectable husbands and loving wives and men and women of Bible Study & Prayer who have integrity and honor You above all else with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength!

Thank You for Your Word, Lord! I don’t know what I’d do without it! I’m so thankful! Make it a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path and help me to hide it in my heart so that I might not sin against You and for many other purposes. I love Your Word! Help me to find others who love Your Word as much as I do and let us be friends! Be lifted up by these words  written here, Lord. Be magnified. Be blessed, Father. In Jesus’s name, amen

51/315: no blogging

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Not blogging tonight. Too many job applications to do! God is faithful always! …even to tell me when I have a tire that will blow soon if not replaced. He’s a good Father, and I’m so happy He’s mine and I am His. :) Be blessed!

50/316: no blogging due to pain

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I’m not able to write tonight due to severe neck pain, and I’ve run out of Excedrin pain relievers. Please pray for God to provide a FT job soon? My family is in need. I appreciate your faithfulness in prayer.

My Precious Savior ~

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Kelly Zooms:

Jesus, You complete me! Thank You! I’ve found my place and my home is in You!
Kelly

Originally posted on CHRISTian poetry ~ by deborah ann:

Praise Him always by Travis Silva free photo #1222R

Oh, my Lord, my God,
my precious Savior . . .
Your goodness and mercy
I will ~ forever savor.

You fill my life,
with purposeful meaning
how could I live . . .
if on You, I wasn’t leaning.

You’ve captured my heart,
my thoughts, You have taken
no matter what life brings
from You, I’ll not be shaken.

You show me such kindness,
I am immensely blessed
it is on Your bosom . . .
I find peace, hope and rest.

Oh, my Lord, my God,
Savior of my very soul . . .
Your love and grace
has made my life whole!

~~~~~~~~

Colossians 2:10

“And ye are complete in him,
which is the head of all principality and power:”

King James Version
by Public Domain

Copyright 2015
Deborah Ann Belka

View original

My King is Coming ~

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Kelly Zooms:

Jesus is coming soon!!!!! I’m so excited!! People, get ready!
Kelly

Originally posted on CHRISTian poetry ~ by deborah ann:

the-joy-of-seeing-jesus CHRISTian poetry by deborah ann

My King is coming,
He will soon be here
I cannot wait
for Him to near.

He will reign,
upon His throne
the world’s sins
He’ll not condone.

He will take over,
be in complete control
the universe is His
as well as every soul.

There will be peace,
the drying of tears
no longer Satan
will we have to fear.

The father of lies,
will be cast into hell
and his followers
with him will dwell.

But for those of us,
who sins are forgiven
with Jesus we will be
in a new earth and heaven.

My King is coming,
all things will be new
and He wants to be
your King too!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Revelation 21:1
King James Version

“And I saw a new heaven and a new earth:
for the first heaven and the first earth
were passed away; and there was no more sea.”

Copyright 2014
Deborah…

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49/317: A River of Good Life

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No [I didn’t think I would be] blogging tonight. I am still seeking FT employment, and I don’t know yet what God means for me to do with my unknown blog. I don’t know when He will let me return to full blogging or maybe this is what He means for me to do… Yet I find a diary blog possibly boring for you. Maybe He knows way more than me of course!

But I am being faithful to the things He has asked me to do…even if it is a baby offering that’s crumpled and messy. I see Him using me in the lives of my friends and those He has given me to mentor (who I learn from so much!) and those He has given to mentor me (even if one says I cannot call her mentor for a reason she gave that touched me deeply). I even got to eat lunch with a different close friend two different days this week! I’m so blessed! And He is answering my prayers for others and showing me things to help them. And they are praying for me and teaching me so that it is a beautiful cycle that runs like a river of good life flowing from God’s Throne. Thank You, Father God. You are goodness and grace for me now. You are my Shield and my very great Reward! You are mine and I am Yours.

“Read your Bibles, people!” Andy Stanley says that, but in a different, more serious way than me. Haha I love saying that! I love the Scripture so much that you couldn’t possibly understand how much it blesses me every minute of my day! Unless you completely feel the same!

Someone taught me and now I’m teaching others to text friends Scripture! And oh to see the difference in each person’s reaction to the Word brings me joy and sometimes sadness. If someone loves the Word it is a peaceful receipt and a joy for them! And for others, where God is working, it is sometimes a crisis of belief and received as condemning them or otherwise…. Yet I have just shared the SAME Scripture from which God was working with ME with 14 random friends.

Why some do not believe the best about God I can’t understand, but that soul is HIS workmanship! I’m so privileged to be a part of it! Others ask me to stop texting them altogether. Haha oopsy! Others ignore me for a week or more. No “good morning” back? Shrug.. Falalalalala I go! :) Some respond back with Scripture. Others ask questions of me. Others begin to pray back to God where I get to see it! Others say simply, “Thank you! I needed that right at this moment!”

I fully feel like I am in training for ministry right now through these friendships!! I am so happy too! He has entrusted something to my care, some small body of believers (and some non-) that I get to nurture and help! And they do the same for me! I’m so excited to live my life everyday, because of God, His Word, prayer time with Him and others, and these beautiful, messy people He gave me!

I want to do this full time, I tell ya! I was made for it! I know it! I’ve known it from a child and yet only God can plant me on the mission field in His good time. And I want only the godly man that God Himself hand-picks for me to do this work and greater with me. (I won’t even try to seek him out, because I am not capable with my feeble understanding.) Oh, to find the soul who has never heard the most Beautiful Name of Jesus out there across the globe or right here in my town! That is my hope and my Big Dream. There has been no time like this glorious time! I love my life! I love my God! I love my people! (That is my family, friends, and my readers.)

How do you receive God’s Word? Do you believe the best about God? Or do you have a crisis of belief when confronted with the Truth?

This is Jason Gray’s song that I love, Remind Me Who I Am. :) I’m His Beloved! And so are you! Be blessed, friend!! Jesus is coming soon! People, get ready!

Jesus, take me as I am. Use me for Your purposes. I want to be as a kiss, as a blessing always. I am Yours, Lord. Thank You for wanting me when others walked past. Thank You for using someone who will cause people to scratch their heads so that You get all the glory. Your ways are higher than mine but elevate mine higher still. Elevate my thoughts so that I can think with the mind of Christ and see with Your eyes all Your little children. I do love You with my whole heart, and I have consecrated myself to You as though I were a lil Samuel girl ready to grow up in Your temple to be used for only holy purposes. Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere! I don’t want other rewards or fame or accolades, I only want You for my great Reward. I want the full measure of wisdom, knowledge, discernment, and understanding of You and Your Kingdom and how You work and who You are. What is better than that? What is better than You? I want to see Your face. You are Everything in my eyes, and I want to behold You. And if no man may see God and live, then what a death! Oh yes, You are my very great Reward! I pray in Christ’s name, amen. (This is the June 27th post.)

48/318: Day of prayer

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Today has been a prayer day. Just prayer after pain, being silly with my goofy kids, and sharing prayer & the Word, etc. with friends by text. ALL of my prayer journals are getting filled up today, buddy! :)

Pray for a dear friend who has lost everything as of 4 PM today and ask God to not let her be homeless on the 15th. She is a blessing to me and a prayer warrior so this would be a big favor!

http://bible.com/114/psa.138.1-5.nkjv
I will praise You with my whole heart; Before the gods I will sing praises to You. I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name. In the day when I cried out, You answered me, And made me bold with strength in my soul. All the kings of the earth shall praise You, O Lord , When they hear the words of Your mouth. Yes, they shall sing of the ways of the Lord , For great is the glory of the Lord .

http://bible.com/114/psa.138.6-8.nkjv Though the Lord  is on high, Yet He regards the lowly; But the proud He knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand Against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that  which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord , endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Beautiful Savior, one day every knee will bow before You and every tongue will confess You as Lord! Champion, we exalt You! King Jesus, You are our Shield and our Very Great Reward! I can’t wait to see Your face, my Lord, my Maker, my Husband! I will praise You with my whole heart! Before the gods I will sing praises to You! I will worship toward Your holy temple and praise Your name for Your lovingkindness and Your truth! You have made me bold with strength in my soul! All the kings of the earth are gonna praise YOU, King Jesus! Thank You for taking care of the lowly and hearing our prayers! Thank You for reviving us tho we walk thru the valley of the shadow of death and know it not sometimes. Thank You for striking down our enemies! Your right hand always saves us! Thank You, Lord, for always perfecting that which concerns us! Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever! Do not forsake the works of Your hands! Lead us in the way everlasting! Help us love our neighbor as ourselves. Help us bless our enemies and help us pray for those who persecute us. We need You for everything!

Father, take care of my friends and readers. You know they have many needs. They need help with bills as do I. They need groceries as do I. They need help with their children as do I. They have struggles with their health and pain sometimes as do I. They need jobs and financial help as do I. Some have been terribly hurt by "Christians." Restore their faith in Christians and in You as You have done for me. Some have been physical harmed by others. Help them trust others like a lil child as do I. We need You for everything. Gather as our Mother Hen and nurture us. You’re a good Father. Help us trust You. Today You showed me how it grieves You when we don’t trust You and Your intentions. I don’t want to grieve You, DaddyGod. Forgive us for our sins. Cleanse us. Purify us. Make us new. Make Your Bride, Your Church, a Blessing to You and to others.

O Lord, You are my Great Delight! In You, I hope and trust. I love Your Word! Psalm 138 was shared by a friend today and what a blessing! Thank You for the desert. Thank you for making streams in the desert and a way in the wasteland! Beautify Your servant. Glorify Yourself thru my, rather, Your humble blog. I guess the Bible is Your Holy Blog to us…. Then hear this, my pingback to You! I have heard, and I follow Your two greatest commandments. Yes, I love You with all that I am! And bc of Your great love for me, I love others greatly! Establish the works of our hands for us. Renew. Strengthen. Help. Bless. Mend. For You have magnified Your Word above all Your name! I can’t comprehend all that means but it sounds glorious and complex! Bless You, Messiah! In Jesus’s name amen. (This is the June 26th post.)

47/318: not blogging

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Tonight I’m not blogging, because I spent time with my kids and texted a couple of important friends instead. God is answering prayer!! He is honoring me for what I’m awkwardly giving to Him as a little child. God is faithful! Be blessed!

46/319: Just another day

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Today I’m not writing, because my daughter, K, is vomiting and ill. The desert is ugly!!!!!!! Pray?

45/320: Lord, You Complete Me

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The desert? Yes, I’ve determined to embrace the desert. If God thinks I need the desert, then I will make myself love sand and wait for the day when He leads me to the beach.

Please watch the video above, which was played last night during Worship Time at Celebrate Recovery. I had just blogged the day before on “Surrendering All” and then He gave me this song to pray back to Him in worship. I almost always weep in worship singing time, and I often cry. However, last night, I bawled. I was afraid I would become uncontrollable, but thankfully no. I love the part in the video when the little man drags his broken heart in pieces to the Throne of Grace. :'(

I have not said this, but I am going to Celebrate Recovery three or four nights a week, because someone asked me to take them. So every Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and sometimes Friday evening I am in a different church across my town in CR. I embrace it very much for my own soul to surrender its abundant selfishness.

And, let me testify! There is nothing like watching broken people, true worshipers, recently freed people worship their Jesus! Nothing like it! This is the church! Yes, some are drug and alcohol addicts like in most recovery/12-step programs. However, there are people from all walks of life. I saw a doctor tonight stand up and admit that this is the only safe place he has to admit his pornography addiction. Oh, yes, this is the church!

I was interrupted while blogging… I won’t continue tonight.

Please pray for my oldest daughter, E, because, above all else, she desperately and swiftly needs God and His divine intervention to deal with her heart and sin. I fear it is my own sin that has caused her much pain. I would not make anything concerning my children public if it did not rank as of the utmost importance right now so much that I close here.

Father, whom have I in Heaven but You? And who on earth can be my rock? Oh, God we need You. Help please! Teach me how to pray!! In Jesus name amen. (This is the June 23rd post.)

44/321: In the heat of the desert

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Tonight I’m discouraged so that for your soul’s sake, I will not allow myself to say more than this… I feel like I am in a place that feels like a desert wearing my business suit, there’s no air conditioning, and my long hair is just sticking to me because of the heat. There is no oasis. There is no job yet although people really seem to like me and want to create positions for me if only they were the boss. No. There is only walking and waiting for the day when refreshment will come. It feels like this tonight.

Maybe I’m fasting from too much. A root beer float was offered to me tonight, but of course, I had to decline soda. I’m going for a jog. God sustains me. My bills due in days taunt me, but tonight I can run faster than they can. I need to run into His arms. Be blessed.

Father, help! In Jesus name amen.

2 Kings 4:3-6 (The Size Of Her Miracle)

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Kelly Zooms:

This authors says, “Being in over our head is the safest place to be.” I would say I’m in over my head!! Safety! This is a very good post! I needed to hear this today! God I pray in agreement with her prayer in the name of Jesus!
Kelly

Originally posted on The River Walk:

jars 2rb

And Elisha said, “Borrow as many empty jars as you can from your friends and neighbors.
Then go into your house with your sons and shut the door behind you.
Pour olive oil from your flask into the jars, setting each one aside when it is filled.”
So she did as she was told.
Her sons kept bringing jars to her, and she filled one after another.
Soon every container was full to the brim!
“Bring me another jar,” she said to one of her sons.
“There aren’t any more!” he told her. And then the olive oil stopped flowing. (2 Kings 4:3-6)

Read: 2 Kings 3:1 – 4:17, Acts 14:8-28, Psalm 140:1-13, Proverbs 17:22

Relate: My random thoughts on the story of the widow’s oil actually skip ahead to another encounter that will happen nine chapters later. In this later event, Elisha is near the end of his life…

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43/322: Surrendering ALL

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You know I love Sunday! So guess how this day went! It was blessed of course! I am still not fully blogging and yet you see that I cannot walk away completely. Think what a handful God thinks I am! :) I am fasting from facebook completely until God provides me a Full Time job, and I’m not sure if I was supposed to fast from my blog or not for sure. I do know I was supposed to cut back and have. My kids are out of town so I am blogging tonight.

Last night, I surrendered the final thing to God…Yes, the one thing I mention in the intro page of this blog that I do not want to surrender… my driving. Yes, Kelly Zooms surrendered her need for speed and her crazy driving to God! So now I cannot be rightly called Kelly Zooms, I guess, but maybe Kelly Zoomed. Haha NO! I do not want to be referred to in past tense. I am very present, very alive, very much active. I will Zoom in other ways of course. Maybe I will Zoom to Haiti! :)

Today, after this great surrender, what did God then do?! He did an amazing thing of course!

First, I must back up to last Sunday. I did not tell a soul (I think), which is so unlike me!, that during the invitation the pastor called up anyone who was needing salvation, church membership, or wanted to join God in ministry. I went forward to have someone pray with me and let my church know that I surrender to career missions. The name of the sweet lady who prayed with me was Lois Carr, and she said, “So you want to go on a mission trip?” I clarified that “I feel fully called to serve as a Career Missionary with my husband and yet I have no husband.” Ms. Carr prayed for both my ministry and my husband. She did not know she held my heart’s truest desires in her words, in her prayers. I went back to my seat quickly after, but I don’t know if anyone knew about my decision besides her. God knows. ;)

Then today in church, I read through the bulletin thingy and the missions needs as always. It said, “Four members needed TODAY!” So I went to the Missions Kiosk for the first time at this new church, and I met the Missions Pastor. Since my passport is now expired, I could not join that team, but he wants me to pray about another trip. I told him, “I will go anywhere, somewhere that others don’t want to go, anywhere just send me!”

We had a conversation and I was quick with the answers, because I know the questions. I researched the International Mission Board requirements for Career Missionaries years ago. And, they did not then allow those with a history of divorce, and yet some of my readers know I married once and reconciled thereby fulfilling my wedding vows. (Our reunion was not completed but left up to him, and he was receptive before he died so that I am now his widow according to the government and God, I believe.) Then the Missions Pastor said they take it on a “case-by-case basis”!!!!!! That is such good news! However, I will look into several missions organizations as he suggested.

He said he wants me to learn to Experience God and learn to know and do His will for my life. I said, “Yes, I’ve taken the Experiencing God study! But I’ll do it again!” He said, “it seems, Kelly, you are far ahead then.” (I zoom?) Then we discussed my children, and I knew this answer too. I will have to wait until my youngest is grown and out of the nest. It is not that long for me! She is 16. This gives me great hope! I hope those girls will wait awhile after to give me grandbabies!! :)

The Missions Pastor wants me to pray about going to Haiti. He said, it will cost about $100 to renew my passport. Then about $2,000 for the trip and I don’t have a penny. I told him maybe one penny in the floorboard of my car… But I digress.  He said before long-term missions can be addressed, I need a job. (Don’t I know it!) A job would help with that passport renewal fee! And all of it! Lord, I need a job!

Last night I got excited about it being Sunday in the morning, and I texted a few people in my excitement! Nearly every single person responded like this:

Me: I am so excited!!!!! Guess why!

Friend: You got a job?!

Me: I wish!!! There would have been way more exclamation marks than that!!!! lol

Me: Because tomorrow is Sunday and I get to go to church!!! Yay!! I love going to church! Don’t you?!

Friend: Yes I do!

You get the point. People are watching for God to work in my prayer for a job. And yet all of our needs are met one by one as we have need. My kids are not paying attention, because they are teens. I am though! God has met my needs as a single mom since 1999 so that I do not doubt He is fully my Jehovah Jireh, the Lord, my Provider. He has been that to me for years.

Yet the other day, I had a thought that I don’t know whether it was my enemy or my Sustainer. What if God intends for you to wait a year before He gives you a job? I responded in this way: “I will not fear. God will do what God will do. I’m still gonna praise Him. I am not afraid.”

Today I told God: “If you decide not to give me a job and have me wait for a FT job for a year, then send me on as many short-term mission trips as You will so long as You provide the funds since I’m penniless and then watch me GO, Lord!!”

So you can see that God is Ever-Present in my time of need! He is all over me like white on rice, buddy! He knows ever need I have. He leads me to obey, and then even when I don’t know it I am doing the speed limit by accident because He is my Help! Look at You, Jesus!!!


God Who Sends Me, Completer of my Faith, Heavenly Father, Great I AM,

How beautiful You are! Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere! Thank You for letting me have a good church to hear a farmer made preacher teach the Full Truth of Your Word! Thank You for letting me have a good church to worship with all of my heart and soul til my makeup is ruined for the day! Thank You for Your love and guidance! Thank You for this preparation time. Day 43?! Wow! I feel like Day 40 was a kind of hurdle, right?! Thank You for this year off dating to focus on You. You know many pray for a godly mate as am I. I seek no man; I seek only You because You made me and know best Your purposes for my life. I do not know such things, I only respond in full obedience. I have never been so obedient before not even when I left for John Brown University to major in missions with my children in tow. I don’t understand why now, but maybe I’m just old. Lord, so many seek a mate! Lord, make me a light to remind lonely people to seek You first. Remind us that You, God, are lonely for us. Your Presence is the best thing I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot lie to You so You know! No one is like You! No one compares to You and Your glory! I seek Your face. If You would send me on a single mission trip or many, first create in me a pure heart, O God, that I may see Your people with love! I give You control of my tongue. Help me remember the Scripture You have taught me for four decades; help my recall! Renew my mind. Please bless and teach my friends and readers, especially when they are obedient. Your Word teaches me that even Jesus learned obedience thru suffering! I rejoice in my present circumstance! You are shaping me! Change us all, Lord. Send revival, Lord, bc I know Jesus, You are coming soon! Help my friends and readers be ready! I am ready to see Your face! Be glorified in my life! I will not allow enmity to exist between me and anyone, Lord, as we saw today, and by my life’s example. Thank You for reconciling me today quickly to my friend. Oh there will be trials of many kinds! Please help my friends and readers take notes if they are able to watch unscathed from the sidelines, bc YOU are at WORK in this messy life of mine! What a glorious time!!! I surrender all to You, Messiah. In the name of Jesus, amen.

42/323: no blogging

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I’m not blogging today. Still seeking employment. Will you pray for my family?

41/324: resting

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Tonight I’m just exhausted from seeking…. Seeking God, seeking friendship, seeking prayer, seeking employment… I may even turn my phone off.

Oh Lord, I’m just ready for the day when someone besides You will take the time or find me worth seeking back. Open eyes, Lord. Open ears. Give us rest, Lord. Help us to be still and know that You are God.

God, I die to myself. I know being an abandoned child changes all of my relationships so that I am constantly trying to keep people, and I am reminded today that they surely feel it. But I do not in any way want them to feel trapped. I want them to be free! And even though that may have happened to me in my youth, I am not known by You as The Abandoned. I am known by You by NAME and as Your Beloved and I’m chosen, even preferred so that I am top shelf quality in Your eyes. In You I am approved even when my enemy slanders me and tries to make me doubt You will ever answer my prayers. But You have conquered my enemy. And You say I am highly sought after and intensely pursued. You keep coming after us with goodly intentions of love and grace and fellowship and intimacy. I’ve found intimacy in You and now I want it with others…. But is it even there? I don’t know. Maybe people think it’s only meant for marriages. I don’t know. But must I wait for marriage for closeness with friends and family? I don’t know. I’m tired. Whatever You want is what I’ll pray. Give me wisdom, discernment, help, peace. Show me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

40/325: God is Faithful!

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Tonight I came to report that God is faithful!

First, He provided a new friend who instantly accepted me as I accept others and who shares transparently as I share transparently (for the sake of intimacy). I am so relieved to find this friend who feels as blessed and honored to have me as I am to have her. We are, Lord willing, going to facilitate a Life Group/Sunday School class together in our church! She has already spoken with the church and tonight we met to pray, but first we cut up laughing for hours! She said so many quotable things! She is so funny! But my favorite was this: “I may cut up and laugh too much, but I am serious about God!” Oh, dearest God, thank You for Amy!

Secondly, the past three nights in a row God has blessed me by strangers! Here are the texts I sent my friends to share how God blesses:

***Tuesday night:
Guess what!!! I’m super happy bc after [an event] at this one church, a lady [I just met] called me to ask me to meet her bc she had groceries she wanted to share with me!!!! Bunch of chicken wings, huge thing of sugar, a [bunch] of bacon, and… veggies..!! God always takes care of us!! He knows our needs! I mean we haven’t had this much bacon since I made breakfast for my husband every morning!! A whole thang! And a frozen jug of milk! Well I’ll spare ya.. But please praise my God!!!!

***Wednesday night:
Guess what!!!! God just did something!! I was sitting at McDonald’s doing an application online and took a call from a friend who is in the same boat financially. She… [and I] got so into [our conversation] that I forgot people could hear me and [I] said something about my friend and I praying together… and how he prayed a pretty prayer but I [was so distressed that] I prayed a baby prayer! When I got off the phone a lady at another table, a stranger, said something to me. And she slid something across the table to me. It was a napkin with a 20 [dollar bill] in it!!!!!!  She said, “We’re up here doing the same thing.. Applying for jobs. Don’t stop praying.” Praise God!!!!!!!!

***Thursday night:
Guess what!!!!! Tonight the pastor’s secretary led our Women’s Bible study and she had been watching for Kelly [Zooms] & asking everyone if I was there, but I was late. During our discussion questions everyone shared and I shared a couple times. But then I shared once more but I cried during my answer lol bc I’m a baby! But it was important for me to report on God’s faithfulness. And the leader stopped the whole Bible study and said, “You’re Kelly [Zooms]! We’ve been praying for you! You are looking for a job, aren’t you?! Can we pray for you right now? Y’all that are close to her put your hands on her and let’s pray.” I started shaking and bawling! I couldn’t believe [I was being singled out among 20 women]! God is soooooo Present right now in every step of my life!!! This lady was not a loosey-goosey-go-with-every-whim leader! God did this!!! Oh and after they prayed, the lady next to me [someone I don’t even know] said she wanted to pay for my book!!!!! So she did!!

I hope my texts bless you as they did my friends, because they told me they did. People need to remember: God is always faithful! I have consecrated myself to God and as He shows me things I just keep turning them over to Him one by one. Amy told me, “When you honor God, He honors you!”

http://bible.com/114/psa.37.25.nkjv
I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread.

Good Father, how beautiful are your ways! How wondrous are your deeds! Thank You, thank You, thank You!! You always take care of me! You have proven that no matter what You will be here and You will meet our needs! No one is like You!! You are so perfect, holy, righteous, and true! I love You with my whole heart! Bless Amy abundantly and answer the prayers I am praying for her.

Now that I’m not blogging regularly only fellow blogger, Rob Barkman reads my blog so I ask You to bless him for being faithful like You, Father! Meet every need he has, send readers to his blog, give him greater faith, mercy, favor with his supervisors at work, bless his family, answer his prayers, send him a godly wife who loves him with her whole heart if he doesn’t have one already, if he has children send workers to draw them into Your Kingdom, give him good health, blessings, and prosperity. Bless him! Thank You for him!

Have Your will in everything that concerns me, Father, and be glorified in my life and this blog…even if it’s only to encourage one man. That is enough! Bless anyone else who comes along in later days. Have mercy on those who honor You. Be blessed, Lord, by us! In Jesus’ name, amen! (This is the June 18th post.)

39/326: Still waiting

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Nothing to say. Need prayer. :'(

38/327: He made me a blessing

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Today I was able to clean someone’s house so God provided! However, I still need prayer for a job so that I am mostly not blogging. God gave me a small victory in one of my friendships, that I call a Wordship bc all day long we just share the Word by text, pray for, and encourage each other. I will just say God revealed a stronghold related to pain from my childhood and gave me victory over it! Praise the Lord!

Then in the car, my daughter and I had a happy moment. I was praising God along with K-Love on the radio and sensed that my 16 year old was staring at me. I looked at her, and said, “What?” She laughed and told me, “You sing bad!” I laughed hard, and said, “I know and yet God loves it!” :)

And even if I sing badly, God is showing me that I’m a blessing to others. Tonight I visited another church for an event. In class, I was sharing something, and suddenly changed my tone and, “I need a job baaaaad!” And when you have favor with someone and you have such an expressive face like I do, people get tickled. One little lady, just got beside herself laughing at the way I said it. I’m so glad I blessed her.

Earlier this older lady had told me, “Last week, that stuck with me when you said, ‘My address? Well, that doesn’t amount to a hill of beans! It does not define me any more than a career.'” Sounds like me. People like to put us in a box. When I came in someone said, “Oh, so y’all are from XYZ Church. Okay.” But they use it as an excuse to assume they know someone. I am unique. Get to know me. I am more than an address. More than where I go to church. More than where I work. I cannot be tied down by a label.

I sound a little sassy.  Yes. Just a little.

Then another lady asked me to come over

to her after church. She had led their small 20 person worship gathering. She said, “You really blessed me. As I watched you worshipping, I could see you were enveloped in it completely.” I just told her, “Oh, yes, I love my Savior!” But honestly, I never saw her. I never knew she was there. I ran to Him. I was with my Maker, my Lover.

I want my life to be a series of worship moments, a series of actions that bring glory to my God who changed me. See, what these fellow believers do not know is how much He has changed me! It is not me, but Him who gets the glory! I just enjoy the favor of others! Don’t ya love favor!?


Great God Almighty, look at You! Wooo! Nobody does what my God does! No one is mighty to save and deliver like my God! Lord, if this post can bless someone then amen! Be glorified in this blog whatever its purpose may be. Provide employment please so I can get back to full-on blogging. Thank You for the phone call today where someone asked me to teach a Sunday School class! I’m astounded it was far sooner than I expected You to move in that, but I heard Your whispered preparation! You’re the best! I’ve just had a super great day, haven’t I? A day of deliverance too! You supply all of my needs according to Your riches in Christ Jesus my Lord! Directly to my mouth as I hunger for them… You amaze me! I love You fully! Bless my family, friends, and readers. Make us men and women devoted to Bible Study & Prayer!  Make us true worshippers for your glory! Be blessed by Your kids! In Jesus’ name amen! (Please forgive the needed edits. I can’t get that sentence spaced properly on my phone and didn’t bring my laptop.)